Harry Potter re-read: Chamber of Secrets

( I assume you either have read it or don't care, but who knows... )

HP-crack plotbunnies:

• Winky enters into a marriage of convenience with Kreacher so she can go back to servitude. Then they fall in love and get a bunch of little multicolored houseelflings! Or she cheats on him with Dobby and they all end up tragically dead.


• Rome/HP kind-of-crossover with Harry as Vorenus, Ron as Pullo and Hermione as Octavian.